contradicting

i just realised that i'm not a good friend..i feel sorry to my friends..i do not really take care about their feeling...and i feel guilty that you dun feel secured when you're with me..you still feel lonely when u go out with me..i was there when u were sad but u couldn't feel my comfort..i was happy but i din notice tat u were just be happy wth me....that's really bad!!!
hate myself...y am i sooo bad...i just do not know how to show concern to my friends...or do i really dun care about them???tat's rally a tough question...maybe i am the youngest all the while..dunno really how to love the younger...and i dun really like babies...in conclusion,i do not know how to take care of ppl....their health,their feeling..i'm not tat kind of person whom will talk very sexy and impressive words...tat's not me!!!!!!
i'm so contradicting...i hope i will be more caring but i dun want to change whom i am now....ok...i'll try